The Heroes walk into town and straight to the Battle Market, ignoring the rest of the town because it is a pretty big shit hole that makes Gary, Indiana look like the mother fucking Taj Mahal of towns.

Apparently the WWE is sponsoring Friday Night Smack Downs in Golarion, so a couple of the Heroes decide to enter the competition and fight some matches. But the beef-headed vince mcmhon wannabe running the place turns the matches into bogus death slams when the Heroes show up. He then goes all roidrage when he sees Tempest and tries to kill the Heroes. But the Heroes totally curbstomp him instead and then kill their way out of the town.

They then go and get their homies and come back and kill all the rest of the butt-sniffing dogmen in town.

Some old hermit guy, Haidar Yunan, shows up rambing a bunch o shit and obviously tripping balls. The heroes follow him back to some old wizard-priest dude ruins, where some wierd gas makes everyone trip balls. Ruffio gets stabbed by the evil dagger old hermit guy has and suddenly has the urge to sniff butts. They take the evil dagger away from old hermit guy and kick him out of the ruins, making him homeless.

The heroes decide to go on a nature hike and find some waterfalls where some foxy midgit chick with 1337 powers lives. She tells them to leave her alone, they do but not without trying to sneek a peek in her cave first, if you know what I mean.

The heroes also find a lame ass village to the east that is lame and won’t help the heroes because they are scared of the butt-sniffing dogmen that live in Kelmerane. They also probably fuck goats.

The Heroes explore an old monastery and get punked by a bunch of gremlins who try to steal their shit. They kill a bunch of pugwampi then stop to look at some lame ass fresco art exhibition made by some totally gay monks like decades ago. Khadyja gets stabbed in the back by some totally boss gremlin. It was hilarious. Vek has gay feelings for some shit flinging baboons. Rusmanya get puked on by some gremlins who are total choads. Rusmanya then finds some cheap ass broke sword, Tempest and trips balls when he picks up the hilt. The heroes then gain super powers from a wish made by a dead genie dude.

Some shit gets burned up and the heroes they fight a fire mephit. Ruffio’s horse proves he is the smarter than the heroes. The heroes then go rescue a goat from a pugwampi in a cactus patch.

The Heroes meet a couple of old dudes and tell them where they are going to go. Some punk kids try to steal old dudes maps, but Rusmanya stops them by knocking out everyone on the street. They find out some hairy bogus adventurer dudes are responsible for hiring the punk kids, but they leave town before the Heroes can find them.

The Heroes keep a flying horse with an eagles head from eating their camels.

The Heroes meet the hairy bogus adventurer dudes in Solku and discover they are bogus, but chill. Rusmanya gets a boner.

Wondering how to get started? Here are a few tips:

1. Invite your players

Invite them with either their email address or their Obsidian Portal username.

2. Edit your home page

Make a few changes to the home page and give people an idea of what your campaign is about. That will let people know you’re serious and not just playing with the system.

3. Choose a theme

If you want to set a specific mood for your campaign, we have several backgrounds to choose from. Accentuate it by creating a top banner image.

4. Create some NPCs

Characters form the core of every campaign, so take a few minutes to list out the major NPCs in your campaign.

A quick tip: The “+” icon in the top right of every section is how to add a new item, whether it’s a new character or adventure log post, or anything else.

5. Write your first Adventure Log post

The adventure log is where you list the sessions and adventures your party has been on, but for now, we suggest doing a very light “story so far” post. Just give a brief overview of what the party has done up to this point. After each future session, create a new post detailing that night’s adventures.

One final tip: Don’t stress about making your Obsidian Portal campaign look perfect. Instead, just make it work for you and your group. If everyone is having fun, then you’re using Obsidian Portal exactly as it was designed, even if your adventure log isn’t always up to date or your characters don’t all have portrait pictures.

That’s it! The rest is up to your and your players.